Day 9: As a wheel turns…

Woke up early and went for a walk to Rambam’s grave. I found a Mishnah Torah there and learnt some chapters from the Laws of Tshuvah (Atonement). One of the main ideas is that humans have the capacity to make the choice to do good. “Anyone can be like Moses, Our Teacher”. Just like a wheel turns, it is the nature of humans to be able to transform. I sat with my knees pressing against the Tomb. I hadn’t done havdalah (the blessings after the ending of the Shabbat) yet so I used the fire of the memorial candles, burning in large fireplaces, as my flame for the blessing. Another unexpected gift of this trip is a renewed and awakened passion towards being immersed in learning of Jewish sources. This immersion in the richness, the beauty and the wisdom of the tradition is an escort leading me through the journey of being allies to both Israeli Jews and Palestinians. I have also been re-awakened to my own valuing of a deep and hearty Jewish education for my children. I’m not exactly sure what it will look like. Too often we think we need to choose between commitments (in this case it would be deep immersion in Jewish life and sources vs. committed peacebuilding between Jews and Palestinians) when bringing them together allows us more of ourselves and also allows us to bring more to every situation.

I’ve also been learning more deeply about the personal aspects of peacebuilding that I see as an integral part of this work. These are challenges and opportunities that all people can take with them in every situation. One of the aspects is truth- the willingness to stand in the fire of our own truth, be willing to take the risk to communicate and to be able to hear and witness other people in their truth. This commitment has many offshoots. One of them is got to do with speech and our discipline about how we use words and to whom. One of the things that I didn’t address enough but that I would on a future trip would be the importance of bringing complaints and grievances to a processing group, small or large, or to an organiser, rather than talking about it among one each other. Everything that is discussed creates an energy, energy that could be dissipated and transformed were it to be brought to the light of day and addressed. Similar to protecting our speech about other people, this invitation to speak up in the light of day, causes us to take more responsibility for our feelings and also in the subsequent steps, to have the opportunity to explore our own role in the situation. We get to ask ourselves what is challenging for us in any given situation? What does this situation remind us of? How does it present us with an opportunity to learn something new, to unfold and transform something inside ourselves? If we just blame someone else for something we don’t like then we’ve lost an opportunity. I see it like hashavat aveidah (returning a lost object to it’s owner). When we project our feelings onto someone else and blame them it is like we have lost something that is ours. And when we retrieve the projection it is like we are bringing back to its owner something that was lost.

Another personal aspect of peacebuilding which I discussed in previous blogs, is the necessity to engage both those times and parts of ourselves when we identify as victim, but perhaps more importantly (sometimes it is harder) to engage those times and parts of ourselves as oppressor. This means that any situation in which we feel like a victim, in our mind we flip roles and assume the oppressor role. We go back to an early childhood situation and find a voice and some physical resistance in a situation where we once had none.

We can’t engage that oppressor part of ourselves without coming to ourselves with deep love and compassion. If we’re too critical of ourselves we won’t even let ourselves notice any oppressor anything. In a paradoxical way, the more we bring compassion to ourselves, the more we get to see some of the darkness that we carry. In a similar way, the experience of safe space, sometimes allows other feelings that we carry to surface and be released and healed.

At the beginning of the day we met as a group to discuss thoughts and feelings about how people may want to translate their experience in to action. People talked about integrating the insights of peacebuilding into every human encounter, they talked about supporting the Bereaved Families Forum-Parent’s Circle, countering the usual polarisation associated with the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. There was talk of a new trip, exploring reconciliation in Australia, visiting country and community. I took the opportunity to share something of the burden and challenge of being awake to the full brunt of the occupation and simultaneously avoiding demonisation of Israelis, being in a position to always ask how we can be allies to both Israelis and Palestinians and work towards justice, right action and security for all people.

Mark Baker framed some questions about the conflict bringing together different approaches such as; one state, two state solution and its implications; gradualist perspective (not showing full intentions from the beginning) as opposed to full disclosure; unilateral actions as opposed to negotiated solutions; the relationship between bottom up person to person peacebuilding and political solutions; and, the question of bilateral negotiations and the role of the international community. He also mentioned the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions strategy (BDS) as a questionable mode of intervention and pressure from the world community. I think Israel needs support from the world community to correct it’s policies and I am concerned about pressure from the international community that isolates and demonises Israel because I think it will add to the already prevalent fear and siege mentality.

We went to hear Professor Fania Oz-Salzberger at Haifa University. She was optimistic about the possibilities and prospects for the two state solution. She was also celebrating the participation of (Israeli) Palestinians in Haifa through their proportionate representation as university students and in municipal governance. Although some of the prickly issues with Palestinian citizens have come to the fore with proposals for loyalty oaths and rising tensions about civil inequalities, Fania speaks hopefully about Israel’s capacity to be both democratic and a state for a Jewish majority. She said that there is no such thing as a Jewish state per se, in the same way that there can’t be a Jewish table.

After some time off in Ben Gurion St, with the imposing Bahai temple and gardens standing above us, we sat in a Moroccan inspired sunken room at Fattoush restaurant with silk cushions and glass lanterns creating shadows on the roof. Hear we heard from Ali from Sikkuy http://www.sikkuy.org.il/english/home.html who gave us a graver impression of the situation than Fania. He talked about the direct and indirect discrimination that Palestinian Israelis receive from the ‘Jewish state’. He spoke in an angry tone and I found it hard to hear. He thinks it is all going to explode in the coming years. Ali is an advocate of the one-state solution, one government and one constitution for the West Bank, Gaza and Israel. I can’t imagine anything other than a bloodbath resulting from such a solution at this time, when the populations are so split from each other and when there is so much fear and antagonism on both sides. He talked about the difficulty of the plight of Palestinian Israelis who often feel as if they are both on the outside in Israel but also forgotten by much of the Arab world.

We got back to Jerusalem really late. I took the opportunity of the last night to go out with the students. Every night they’ve been going out, drinking and smoking nargila. We went to a pub near American Colony hotel. Sometimes I am a little puritan about intoxicants so I was glad to out that aside to just be with the people. It was great to be out and have some intimate connections with some of the students, sharing from the heart about our lives and relationships. It has become more and more clear how each of us has countless opportunities in our lives to bring forth these teachings of peacebuilding, of reaching out to others from the true position of our own strength and resilience, and sense of personal power and generosity.

Day 8: Footnote

I just wanted to clarify that I don't think students are demonising Israel per se, many have been able to put a human face on the situation and have come to greater understanding. What I mean is that there are some moments when this polarised thinking emerges and I am interested to challenge and unpack it.

Day 8: Walking on water

We are now in Tiberias, on the way to Haifa tomorrow, for our last full day of the trip. I have been sitting with some pain, that I have started to articulate, about noticing that as a consequence of seeing the reality of some of the Israeli treatment towards Palestinians, some of the students seem to be demonising Israel. It feels like it is mixed up with demonising Jews and if it is not all Jews then it is separating out ‘good’ Jews at the expense of other ‘bad’ Jews like settlers. I am really uncomfortable with this. The vision I am holding out is for a direct and honest appraisal as much as possible of the situation, and then, a concerted conscious approach that doesn’t blame or target the oppressor, but simultaneously does not justify or rationalise irrational policies. It has been good to bring voice to this idea. It is also related to the challenge that we have of acknowledging our own oppressor patterns and behaviour. We can only acknowledge our dark side when we have sufficient compassion that we can allow it to emerge and like ourselves (not take it personally) at the same time.

This morning I did yoga practice and enjoyed breakfast in the sunny YMCA courtyard. We went on a political tour of Jerusalem with Merav Zunshine. She is also involved in Taayush, a human nights organisation. Leeora, living in Jerusalem for 10 years, came along with us. Having her there was a blessing that helped me notice the point about demonization that I mentioned above. You know when someone is with you and their presence causes you to think differently because you internalise a sensitivity that you think they may have. A few times when some facts were mentioned I noticed some sarcastic comments from one of the guides and students and then it struck me how we need to bring this oppressor material to the fore with the utmost care and sensitivity. We went to see the edge of where Gilo and Bethlehem embrace. And we noticed the difference between Har Homa and Gilo where, Har Homa blocks the Palestinian access between Bethlehem and Jerusalem and Gilo just extends a band around the edges of Jerusalem. Our next stop was to Silwan, where there has been some tension lately because of Jews who want to settle right in the middle of this Arab town. There is also the archeological site of City of David http://www.cityofdavid.org.il/IrDavidFoundation_Eng.asp (this is the offical website) that is run as an archeological site by a non-government organisation called El-Ad (see http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/news/elad-seeks-approval-for-new-construction-project-in-city-of-david-1.280472) . The last stop of the tour was a panoramic view from the back of Hebrew University over the area E1 that is put aside for Israeli development. At the moment it is possible for Palestinians to move from East Jerusalem to the West Bank and bypass Maaleh Adumim but the concern is with the proposed development the viability of a Palestinian State in the West Bank will be severely undermined.

We then visited Shorouk Organisation, a women’s organisation that brings Palestinian and Jewish women together for peacebuilding and economic development. I’m hoping to follow up with Aziz and build on the relationship with Shorouk to explore more opportunites for women’s leadership development in a peacebuilding framework.

The next stop was Aziz’s family’s West Bank home in Azarya or Bethany. The family lives in Issawiya (right near Hebrew University) because if they would stay in their original home they would lose their right to come to Jerusalem. But his father comes almost every day to look after the land. They have olive trees, grapevines, pomegranate, pomela, lemon, orange, mandarine and persimmon trees. Aziz talked about when the family come and harvest all the olives in October and other times when they pick all the grapes and then juice them and put the juice on the fire for hours and hours. The family unites around the family home. Originally his dad bought a large property for all the children to build their own places on the land. It was not to be- at least not yet. It was wonderful to see his gorgeous mum Habiba again. In July I had visited their home with my kids. They have been there for years. Someone pointed out a neighbour with a Turkish flag who they suspect has been recruited as an informer. How will the shift be made from surveillance, suspicion and a security perspective to peacebuilding, reconciliation and trust?

We headed for Tiberias through the West Bank past Jericho and so we stopped at the Dead Sea for a swim. There was so much black mud at Kalya Beach, and we could pick up handfuls of it and cover our bodies. We then did some processing in groups there, reflecting on how we are feeling as the program is coming to an end. We waited on the road for a long time, probably because there was a suspicious object on the side of the road.

It is difficult to see injustice, and it is also difficult to see blaming of those carrying out injustice. It is challenging to hold all the perspectives together. This trip has strengthened my intention to be able to support both peoples, and to be a dedicated Jews. When some students were expressing upset about Israeli government actions and Israeli complicity with them, I asked what they could do that could help them be allies to Israelis? How can we be allies to Jews and Palestinians?

Day 7:Shiviti Hashem Kenegdi Tamid, I place God before me always

We’re at the new Yad Vashem redone in 2005. At the beginning while we were waiting for the entourage of the visiting German President to go past, the guide asked who was connected to the Holocaust. I shared that my grandmother, Nana Frida is a survivor and that even after recording her testimony and going with her to her birth village and to Auschwitz, after all that I only found out in the last few years that in fact it wasn’t only four of them who miraculously survived, nothing will take that away. But that there were 4 younger children, aged 2, 4, 6 and 8 who were killed in Auschwitz along with her parents soon after the arrival of the transport. I would like to record their names on the Yad Vashem register. I went in to the archives room and met a woman from Switzerland and her village had been next to Balassagyrmat, the town where Nana’s family was deported from in Hungary. I went in to the shule (synagogue) and recited in my own mind the mourner’s prayer (Kaddish) with these children in mind.

As you may know the mourner’s kaddish doesn’t have anything about death in it. Rather it is about the acknowledgment and sanctification of God, blessing the Divine in her/his/its greatness.  This is another thing that stood out for me, the honouring of God and of Torah amid the ruins and the devastation. I saw burnt fragments of a Sefer Torah (Torah Scroll) and I noticed yesterday’s Torah portion on it, the story of Joseph. I was moved by the testimony of a man who told his story of learning Torah in the ghetto. For those two hours in the day, and two hours in the night, there was no Germans, there was no war, there was just the Holy Torah.  Another man was crying and crying as his dad was teaching him the blessings over the Torah for his barmitzvah. The dad didn’t want to risk the boy’s life but him and his brother insisted on learning it.  The barmitzvah boy cried and cried and cried. He was embarrassed. Another man, appeared to him, Like Elijah the prophet and said to him ‘My child, my child,  God loves you’. He took great comfort in that tenderness. This attention of distress that this man practised shows the strength and power of the human mind in choosing where we put our attention at the height of external trouble. Even though there was so much unspeakable cruelty, devastation and destruction, we can’t project how people experienced things. Imre Kertesz says in Fateless:

Even back there, in the shadow of the chimneys, in the breaks between pain, there was something resembling happiness…for me the happiness there will always be the most memorable experience, perhaps.

It is actually overwhelming and impossible to fully connect to the magnitude of the destruction let alone the killing of one person unless we can allow ourselves to feel. I’ve learnt from my involvement in a co-counselling community (I’m not saying anything to represent them) that it is really important to give space to non-Jews to talk about their connections and feelings to this material. To inquire of them how they feel connected to Jews, what information they carry with them about Jews and give them a chance to be relieved of the antisemitism they carry just from being part of society. All people are good people. The fact that we have internalised these oppressor recordings is not to be taken personally.  I’ve also learnt the importance of acknowledging our oppressor material.  The idea is that every victim carries with them internal recordings of that victim experience but also of the oppressor experience as well.  I noticed in some of our sharings that it is easier for people to share their experience from a position of victim as opposed to owning up and claiming our position as oppressor.  We need to be compassionate enough with ourselves in order to find the space to have the courage to see our own darkness and move through it. The more we can bring it to our conscious attention and release some of the hurt associated with it and early experiences, the less likelihood that we will act on it in the world.

I didn’t think there was much attention in the museum to the gendered nature of the narrative. Most of the people who were quoted on the writing on the wall were men, in fact I didn’t see any woman’s voice quoted on the wall. I found that personally alienating. It introduces an interesting dynamic whereby even amid a sense of solidarity with the Jewish people, I found myself simultaneously feeling alienated as a woman.

The new Yad Vashem has stone arches as you enter. Inscribed on it is the biblical quote from Ezekiel 37:14. There it says:

I will put my breath into you and you shall live again, and I will set you upon your own soil. 

There is a direct link between the renewal and revival of the dead and the establishment of the State of Israel and Zionism. As you enter the new building, there is footage of life in pre-war Europe. The place of the Holocaust in the Zionist narrative was reflected by all the footage I saw that was from the Zionist Conference and showed European Jews singing Hatikvah (the Israeli national Anthem).  

Is there a way to honour the specificity of our tribal experience and to simultaneously use that opening to honour all humans?

Aziz shared that the Holocaust wasn’t taught at school with WW2  and also that Palestinians just felt that Israel used it to legitimise themselves. He also mentioned that in a mixed Jewish –Palestinian forum his dad asked if the Holocaust happened. As a flow-on from that he organised for 70 Palestinians to come to Yad Vashem and learn about the Holocaust.

We went to Ein Kerem for lunch.

Back at the YMCA we met with Mark Regev, spokesperson for the Israeli government. We had just been through checkpoints, visited an Unrecognised Bedouin village, and met with many activists involved in person to person peacebuilding, and I found it difficult when he answered questions about these topics which what seemed to me like a lack of substance.  His main two messages were about security and recognition of the right of Israel to exist. Israel does need to look after the security of its citizens but the problem with the security argument, is that it is used to trump everything. Mark Regev himself says life itself (the security argument) always takes precedence of quality of life (the impediments caused to the Palestinians through checkpoints and the permit system and general lack of freedom of movement). I found it difficult to hear him speaking from such a defensive position.  I encouraged the group to ask their questions from a position of curiosity as opposed to a stance of attack, and suggested that may free Mark Regev from needing to act defensively. But I think that may be a familiar stance for him.

After a short break when I ran to the post office,  we met with Professor, Politician, and Civil Activist, Naomi Chazan, President of the New Israel Fund - www.nif.org/. She explained how she sees domestic and conflict-realted issues as integrally connected to each other. She believes very strongly that Israel was created for two reasons: 1. As collective expression of self-determination for Jews and 2. To create a just and equal society for all citizens. She believes that the Occupation is immoral, illegal, unJewish and bad for Palestinians and awful for Israelis.  She acknowledged the intangible dimension to the intractability of the conflict like the fear and paranoia of the other- Israel is the strongest power in the Middle East but has a siege mentality as if the world is out to destroy us. We conceive ourselves first and foremost as victim. And the Palestinians are the same and every single day of the occupation they are victims and a climate of mistrust is perpetuated. She argued that a political settlement will not resolve these issues. Every Israeli historian says that Israel holds some responsibility for the Palestinian refugee problem. Let’s apologise and find a just solution to the problem.

She describes the internal reverberations of the occupation and the way in which dissent is being curbed in a ‘you’re either with us or you’re against us’ type attitude. She understood the recent targeting of her, including posting of billboards of a caricature of her with a horn (playing on the Hebrew word for Fund- keren- which also means horn), as part of a broader campaign of de-democratisation that includes targeting of groups involved in human rights, social justice and peacebuilding and the representation of them as somehow traitors to the Zionist cause. This incident was also significant in that she was going to come to Australia and her visit subsequently was cancelled.

In coming to a peaceful solution she acknowledged that you don’t negotiate narratives, you need to bridge between them and sometimes you have to get used to hearing the most awful things about how you are viewed by the other. We share this land, we are destined to live together, and use history as a way to understand the other.

We were in Talpiot so I went to visit Merav and Nachman and also had a great play with Lev. Wonderful and surreal.

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Day 6: The Delight of Shabbat in Jerusalem

I went to Shira Hadasha Jerusalem. Shani Berrin kindly gave me an aliyah. I reflected on the Torah portion of the week and the hatred of the brothers towards Joseph that eventuated in them selling him. Ever since we’ve had relationship it’s been a challenge to stay out of strife. There has also been lots of opportunities for growth and peacebuilding starting from the hearts of our families.

I felt the passing of time seeing teenagers who had been kids when we left Jerusalem seven years ago. It was wonderful to see people and already feel part of the community. At the Kiddush I connected with a friend and we had a heart connection in the tepee set up in the grounds of the synagogue. I was grateful for the perfection of the day.

I went to Leeora and David’s for lunch and it was wonderful to be there, and feel just like at home. And then on the way back to the hotel I popped in to connect with Izhak which was lovely after so long. He’s been looking at the works of the Nazir, father of Chief Rabbi of Haifa, Shear Yashuv Hacohen, including a collection on peace and war. For some time he has been composing jazz music to the poetry of Rav Kook.

Soon after Shabbat came out we met with Daniel Roth. We were in his first class at Pardes about 10 years ago. He now runs the conflict resolution track there.

Rabbi Daniel Roth as a child moved here from the US when he was 15. He felt like he was part of a messianic process. At the same time he had a lot of fear. Three people were stabbed in his neighborhood. He used to have a strange recurring dream- perhaps his peacebuilding work was starting to manifest itself- that someone would throw a stone and he would get out of the car and connect to the people. Created a lot of fear. He went to joint army and Yeshiva service. It was his first exposure to people who took their Judaism seriously but didn’t believe in messianic vision of Zionism. He described tension in the yeshiva. On one floor a teacher gave a class supporting the peace process, and on other floor, at the same time another teacher was saying that no way, under no circumstances can we give away any land.

He argued that people within the religious traditions need to be able to engage in peacemaking and described the strong sense of identity that is required to be able to lead peacebuilding with the other from within the heartof one’s own community. How do you engage your family and community? How do you explain a sense of both pride and responsibility?

We then met with a representative from Machsom Watch www.machsomwatch.org/ - women who monitor human rights violations at the checkpoints, twice a day every day of the week. . The other aspect of what they do is make a political statement against the occupation. (See documentary by Eric Scott called ‘The Other Zionists”)is a political statement saying we are opposed to occupation and the checkpoints. She understands what you see at the checkpoints as not the main thing but rather a symptom of the occupation. Restriction of freedom of movement has dire consequences for Palestinians emotionally, economically, socially and politically. She described how she has lost intimacy with her children because of the divergence of their political opinions. They both serve in the army, one of them is a commander. She describes herself as having her face to the Israeli society, reflecting back to them how much the occupation is hurting them.

She thinks the average Israeli does not want to know about the evils of the occupation: “All we know is that the other is evil and we are under threat.” To make peace, each one thinks that the other just has to stop being evil. The Jewish Israeli narrative is legitimate and the Palestinian narrative is legitimate and we have to accept and respect it, despite the discomfort, and that is a prerequisite for peace despite how far away it seems. Even the media is not exposed to what the occupation does to the big part of the Palestinian population. Reporters from the occupied territories go there when something happens with an army jeep, removed from the situation. They try to get them to come and see what is happening at the checkpoints. Palestinian children don’t need textbooks to hate Israelis. It is crazy that these children have to wait at checkpoints for one hour with a soldier with a gun. What kind of education for peace is that on the part of Israel?

Day 5: Return to Jerusalem for Shabbat

We left Bethlehem towards Ramallah. Because of Beit-El we needed to go a circuitous route to Taybeh Brewery, the only Palestinian brewery started by Palestinians from Boston. Taybeh, a Christian village looked like a ghost town. Apparently many people have left there and live abroad and their houses lie empty.

We then went in to Ramallah and met with Palestinian businessman and advocate Sam Bahour. He was from Ohio and also received an MBA from Tel Aviv University. He was one of the first Palestinians that we spoke to from a more political and advocacy perspective.  He noted that in our travels we were only seeing 40% of the Palestinian people, we weren’t seeing Palestinians in Gaza and 40% of population who live in refugee camps and other Palestinians in the diaspora. When Palestinians were unified the PLO represented all Palestinians . At that time the international community refused to recognise that political body.  He said that Palestinians were pressured in to recognising the State of Israel,  in writing, in an extreme kind of way. Palestinian Authority is responsible for people under occupation. The international community recognised PLO for one day and focused on the PA. All monies focus on PA. When Palestinians were forced to have elections, they became split because of Hamas and Fatah. The international community has become more enthusiastic to help Palestinians and the PA as they have become less and less representative. Anyone serious about reaching a final status agreement cannot allow fragmentation of Palestinians.

He then talked about the political context. Is this a military occupation or not? If this is a military occupation- which all countries accept, except for Israel- then Geneva Convention and international law kicks in.  We can then look at katyushas from Gaza and bombing in to Gaza can say it is against international law. If this is not occupation noone should be surprised if Palestinians lay claim to Haifa, Tel Aviv and other cities because everything is up for grabs. Claiming it to be an occupation implies a greater burden of responsibility.  We need to understand the game we are playing. If we are playing occupation we know that, or if it is not, tell us and then everything is up for grabs. For example it is illegal under international law to move civilian population in to occupation area- Obama knows as a student of international law.  Borders are less clear under international law.

If it is not an occupation why can’t he go and live in Haifa? Sam Bahour relocated to Ramallah after Oslo. He believes that this process will not end in a final status solution.  With collapse of negotiation, PA will go to UN and will ask international community to recognise State of Palestine. What that means without other changes, he is not sure. What does it mean if there is no end of occupation, no freeing up of trade, etc. He says that it risks normalising the occupation. He wants to separate ending the occupation from reaching a final agreement.

Military occupation by definition is a temporary status- 43 years later hard to understand. Bilateral peaceful negotiated settlement may take 50 or 100 years. Not patient enough to wait for the occupation. Even end occupation 85% and let Palestinians come to negotiation in good faith. Without good faith there can be no positive result.

An annex in Oslo agreements was the privatisation of communications for Palestinian Authority- he was invited to be part of that process. Palestinians have right to own company. You need frequencies and you need to come back to Israelis to get frequencies (IN order to run this you need at least 6 lines of frequency released. Israel has the power over the frequencies but they didn’t release 6 required but only 1.5 lines). They did it despite the fact that  any business textbook would have said this is unfeasible. It certainly is not maximising return today. He was involved in building the first Palestinian Mall, 10.2 million dollars (now up to 10^th branch- usual growth would be about 40 by now).

Sam said he was proud he built Telecom and Malls, but that is not economic development for statehood. Building a mall should not be headlines in the New York Times. Building economy for future state requires land, movement, access,  freeing of trade relations, water, borders.  At the moment these major resources are in Israeli hands 100%. They control resources required to build state. They release when they want.  What they can do is economic activity as opposed to economic development for statehood.  He is not deterred by that. He said we won’t end occupation by staying home. It is important to keep people here so Israel can’t take geography without the demography.

He argued that ending the occupation doesn’t have to work for both parties. Ending the abuse of my human rights has to happen irrespective of if it is comfortable for others. It doesn’t need to be negotiated. International community need to penalise Israel for breaking international law. 

We then returned to Jerusalem before Shabbat. Without checking in we had a presentation by Rami Elhanan, an Israeli man involved in the Bereaved Family  Forum-Parents Circle. He described the bond and treaty between the Jews and Palestinians in this organisation through the price they have paid for ongoing conflict, the loss of a loved one. In the war 37 years ago he was in a platoon of 11 tanks and only 3 of them survived. He lost his closest and best friends. He came out of that war bitter and angry and determined to look after himself. And then, 10 years after that, his daughter Smadar was born. They lived life in a bubble looking after their own interests until 13 years after that, on the 4 September, 1997, that bubble was blown up by 2 suicide bombers on Ben Yehuda St, downtown Jerusalem. Five people were killed including his 14 year old daughter Smadar. He described hearing the explosion and the hope that he wouldn’t be touched by it. The long and frustrating hours running between hospitals and police stations until finally in the morgue, seeing the sight that noone ever wants to see. He described how in the seven days of mourning the house was filled with thousands of people and he was enveloped in love and compassion. And then on the eighth day, he said he was forced to make a decision about what to do with this unbearable burden. He said hurting someone would not bring her back. He tried to understand why it happened. He asked what would cause someone to be that mad? Do we have any responsibility in this? What can we do to prevent this pain? And since that moment – and meeting people in the Bereaved Family Forum-Parents Circle- he has been speaking to people , advocating for dialogue. He said it is not about forgiveness (I can’t forgive someone who killed my child) but that there is a space between hatred and forgiveness. Once he was confronted by a Palestinian young man who wanted to shake his hand. The man said that he didn’t think Rami would want to shake his hand. It turned out that this man’s brother was a suicide bomber. But Rami said the goal was not to punish families of suicide bombers. He said that someone who has hope does not become a suicide bomber. Terror is not in the genes.

I then needed to run up and get ready for Shabbat and light candles before shule (synagogue). My key was broken so I only got let in to my room by the time I was meant to be ready. But it worked out fine. I lit candles and then we walked to Shira Hadasha, a group of us from the trip. On the way Arab families were having very smoky barbeques in Gan Pa’amon, Liberty Bell Park. I ashamedly noticed my racism through thinking that I wish they weren’t there and I wish I didn’t need to walk through a puff of smoke on my way to synagogue on Shabbat. (I may have thought that about Jews but it was poignant that it was Arabs there.) Then my second thought was that the same thing could also actually be a sign of the vibrancy and richness of this city that I did walk through that puff of smoke at this time on my way to Shule!

It was so good to be in Jerusalem on Shabbat, to be at Shira with song, in a Jewish religious environment that felt like home. It was amazing to see old friends including the female prayer leader. I sang and cried and felt so happy to be there. It was wonderful to be in prayer and in song at the end of the week that we’ve had. I was so glad to share the experience with several students who also really enjoyed themselves.

After dinner back at the hotel we called a sharing circle- that Ilana led, with my support- about reflecting on ourselves as peacemakers and sharing moments when we have experienced transformation. It is obviously not appropriate to give any details of anyone’s story but it was wonderful to create the space of safety where people could share deep feelings and experiences. The circle made me see, in new ways, how important it is to reflect on our own journey and what we bring to this work of peacebuilding. It also showed that we only hear people through the limits of our own hearing and projections. Certain things stick with us that people say because of our own struggles and challenges. It is a deep pleasure of mine to be present with people in their vulnerability, keeping my heart open and being present to them in creating a safe space for sharing and being visible. It was wonderful to process afterwards with some of the group leaders. 

One highlight for me was also taking the risk to share some of my challenges with Ilana, my roommate and fellow leader, the local Israeli guide (who I will write about in more detail soon- the first blog about the leaders was lost in cyberspace) directly about my relationship with her and the challenge of liking myself enough to support her in her fullness and not believe myself threatened by that. To have the courage to support her leadership (as part of my leadership) and to face the feelings of fear that it brings up in me. We have been working really well together in collaboration. It is not of the present. I am not diminished. It is wonderful in the face of the fear to keep on acting on the truth of the benign reality and the reality of the space for all people to be in their power and fullness. Each fear, and each pang is an invitation to bring more of myself to myself and expressed in the world. I am grateful that she could not only hear my sharing but thank me for it and acknowledge it's beauty.

Day 4: The South: Power of the people and civil diplomacy

Another incredible day. The furthest south we got was an overview over Northern Gaza. We were that close we could hear the Call to Prayer and see the surveillance hot air balloon. We could hear gunshots and then our guide reassured us that there was a shooting range in the vicinity (no danger to us).

We entered Beer Sheva on Route 60 through many Israeli settlements. It was at the checkpoint on the way out of the West Bank that our bus got stopped for the first time. We all had to show our passports and documents. Our driver, Mustafa, who is Aziz (our guide’s brother), had to get off the bus with his bag and take it to be x-rayed. He doesn’t have anything on his record. It was very uncomfortable for me and I think especially some of the other Jews on the bus. Some people wanted to find a reason to justify why they would do it. I think even if there is a security reason to justify it doesn’t change the humiliation experienced by Mustafa. And this wasn’t even really such a ‘big deal’. But he said he wouldn’t go through this checkpoint again. We also realised that this checkpoint was run by contractors, and not the army, and that may explain the added interferences compared to the many other checkpoints we have passed through so far on the trip.

We met Noam Tirosh at Ben Gurion University. He volunteers for an organisation called Negev Coexistence Forum www.dukium.org/ which advocates for citizens rights in the area especially the Bedouin of the Unrecognised Villages. These people, recognised by the UN as Indigenous people, and were moved by the government in to a specified area in the early 1950’s. They were either put in larger towns or stayed in the smaller village which remained unrecognised and this didn’t receive any services. The people still paid and pay taxes and receive health and social benefits but they don’t receive the usual municipal services of waste and water (other than drinking water). They’re not allowed to be involved in agriculture and build greenhouses. The lack was stark because we were in view of the Jewish community opposite which had developed agriculture and had greenhouses. Someone from our group asked if it was because the land they’re on is on top of minerals or oil. Our host responded that it was because both peoples care a lot about the land. We had lunch in the village. Our guides have made a conscious decision about spending our money in places where we can support the economy. Many Bedouin women are now attending university. Often the burka for them is a symbol of their freedom in the world because they use it to be able to fully partake in life outside of the community. With their growing integration in to society there has been a parallel move to more intensified Islamic practice. They consider themselves part of the state of Israel, and at the same time identify with the Palestinian struggle. But our host said, ‘I don’t want a state, I just want water’. They would be happy to have their villages recognised and receive the usual municipal services. Noam surmised that because of the conflict it is hard for Israeli Jews to fully acknowledge the plight of the Bedouin and be involved in social action to promote change.

We then visited Sapir College, in Sderot, a tertiary college where every room is now reinforced like a shelter to be protected from the katyusha rockets that were coming from Gaza. We met with Merav Moshe Grodonsky who is a peace activist and academic there. She is advocating for the difference that it makes for Israelis and Palestinians to meet each other. She described the experience of a Jewish woman who was forcibly relocated from a settlement in Gaza and currently living in a caravan near Sderot. She said that every day her daughter asks her when they are going to return home. She asked a Palestinian in the dialogue group how she should respond. He said, “You know, I really understand your daughter, she misses the smell of the sea, her feet in the sand, feeling of home”. It is the most powerful connection when we recognise the human sentiments of the other across borders and ideologies. Merav brings the Bereaved Families Forum- Parents Circle in to her classes. One Jewish woman from Hebron asked her why she was doing it. In the end this same woman wrote the final paper on human rights for settlers and Palestinians. Merav has also developed a Peace Dialogue Group for Jews with a wide spectrum of ideologies to meet and discuss their visions and hopes for the future. Sapir College, through Merav, is partners with the McGill Middle East Program in Civil Society and Peacebuilding. This exciting project involves the development of ten rights based, community based centres with the operating assumption that in order to create peace you need to reduce inequality in society. Communities are not usually able to access their rights. It is a very long process. People start off with a sense of disentitlement and then move to being able to use the political system to change laws. She described how the program was responsible for the establishment of public housing law in Israel. Residents learnt to demonstrate, speak to the media, invite the Minister to their homes, lobby in Knesset and eventually be part of the coalition that successfully passed a law in the Knesset (Israeli Parliament). There are no steps taken without the community being an integral part of the process. They are training people about the skills of citizenship in a more universal language than that of kinship. They are not going to be coordinating on a regional level to advocate for social and economic rights where there are overlaps and interconnections across the region. She described how she has been slowly and strategically introducing her peacebuilding agenda to the college and acknowledged the support of the College leadership.

Eric Yellin took us to the place where we could see Northern Gaza. He has lived in Sderot for about 8 years. He is involved in Other Voices www.othervoice.org/info/eng/about-us.htm, an amazing organisation that tries to create dialogue between Jews of Sderot and Palestinians of Gaza amid a crazy reality. They are building a human connection to the other side of the border. Eric said that the only way to bring change is to create human connection. They don’t trust leaders to do it. And leaders certainly can’t do it alone. He said that Gaza is like the symbol of hell and that Israelis and very fearful of Gazans but that as neighbours they need to find a way to live together. They communicate through phone and facebook and through Operation Cast Lead through SMS. He acknowledged the courage of the Palestinians involved in the dialogue who because of internal politics can’t really have contact with Israelis. Sometimes the Gazans say they need to take a break from contact when they feel they are under surveillance or suspicion. There is 80% unemployment in Gaza. They have run seminars where Gazans have come in to Israeli with permits. It is a sensitive issue for Palestinians for work with Israelis because they get accused of ‘normalisation’ which means that they are accused of somehow accepting the occupation and the current status quo. The Palestinians involved don’t see it that way. They see dialogue as one part of a strategy out of the current situation.